I now have a new girlfriend. Incidentally, my whole chest and back are covered with bite marks and scratch marks. I'm in love!
Everything happened so...fast. It's quite overwhelming, but I'm sure enjoying it!

I am in love. Again. In love with the way she acts, the way she treats me, the way I feel when she's around. I've missed this feeling so much. And for once, it's not just the feeling Im in love with, it's her.

The snow is here again. It's cold and it's wet, and I've missed it a lot. I like the snow, and I like the way it makes everything quiet, and the way it makes time stop and the way it makes the world seem so small in such a comforting way.

And I like this evening and this night. I had a few close friends over, we watched a movie and then turned on VH1. Lay down next to each other, half asleep, talking about life, music, friends. Just having a good time. At the same time I love it, it makes me miss all those other times when I've been so care-free and happy. It makes me happy just to think about them. These are the moments I live for, that makes it all worth it. These quiet hours with friends and memories. Moments that make me smile, moments that make me happy and care-free.

Some days I miss myself. What I was. What we was. Things were easy and beautiful back then. Or so I thought they were, at least. It's too late, it's all gone. On the other hand, these two last years of my life have been a blast anyway, so who am I to complain?

I finished my huge assignment today. It took a week of agonizing angst and stress och ten constant hours of writing. But now I'm done, and it turned out decent. So now I have a couple of spare days before classes start again.

Also I went to see Efterklang play tonight. They happen to be one of my favourite bands at the moment, and they didn't let me down at all. Strange costumes, lost of instruments and beautiful noise. It filled me with childish joy, which happen to be the kind of joy I like the best! They also had this cute little american kid who was playing with them and even opening for them doing a solo act. Well, he's not really a kid, his name is Peter Broderick and he's 20, I think. Just as me. And he's already playing with a band like Efterklang! He deserves it though, he's really cute and he seemed to be really nice just as well. He made beautiful music all by himself. The best part was an AMAZING version of a song from the soundtrack to the swedish movie Farväl Falkenberg (or Farewell Falkenberg I guess, if you live outside of Sweden...) It so happens to be one of my favourite movies, and definitely the one most beautful movie ever made in Sweden. So go get it, if you haven't seen it! And I got me two Efterklang LPs and a copy of this! The problem is, it has a seal on it, a little golden star, and I just can't break it. I hate breaking seals, it makes me feel awful. Especially since it's a beautiful seal and I want it to be there. Oh well. I'll just have to come up with some idea to get the CD out some other way.

Also, I think I might be in love. Again. I really hope so, it would make certain things a lot easier for me right now. I hope I'm in love.

Here we go again. Another entry. I recently got home from this thing we have in Sweden called Högskoleprovet, which is this big test you can do to see how smart and educated you are compared to others. Well, something like that. It takes eight hours to do. Because I'm stupid, I went out last night. Jim White and Jack Peñate played in town, so I just had to be there.
It was worth it. It was so worth it. The gigs were amazing, almost magical. Also, I met Michaela, a really sweet girl from the course in History of Literature I'm taking right now, and a couple of her friends and we had a lot of fun just dancing the whole night. I really needed it, my life has been, well yeah, not very fun the last couple of weeks.

Needless to say, I'm kinda tired right now since I only slept for three hours. On the other hand, Handsome Furs will be playing in town tonight, and I just can't miss that.
I'm gonna be so dead tomorrow. Oh well, it's worth it.

As I said, I've been quite sad and depressed for a couple of weeks now for certain reasons. I'm not going to talk about it right now, not here at least. Anyway, most of the time has been spent listening to my old friend Henning's beautiful tunes. He has this one-man band called 01011: this is how everything looks like in a100 years. It's basically really agressive, depressive beautiful shoegaze. For me, it hurts a lot to listen to it, everything's just filled with bittersweet memories of better times. But I just can't stop listening to it, the music he makes is magical. Every little bit of it.

So anyway, if anyone ever reads this, do yourself a favor and listen to this: http://www.myspace.com/01011thisishoweverythinglooksina100years

Also, here are his other bands/musical projects: (everything's definitely worth checking out!)
http://www.myspace.com/suislalune (screamo. I was in this band once btw)
http://www.myspace.com/helveteocksa (crust)
http://www.myspace.com/mixtapesandcellmates (indiepop/electronica)

Also, listen to Jack Peñate!
http://www.myspace.com/jackpenate

I'm back, a year or so later. I've stayed up a couple of hours reading through old entries, getting some much needed perspective on certain things. I'm not going to write much right now, and I don't expect anyone to read this either. I don't know if I will try to start writing here again, or if it's just this one time. We'll see.

I've come to a certain insight when it comes to my life.

Of all the thoughts that have gone through my head for the last couple of hours, and they are many, everything eventually came down to one single question.

Why is everyone I've ever lost so fantastic?

I'm feeling a lot better right now, which is a very, very good thing. I hope to get some sleep tonight. Being forced by your own body to stay awake for four days is just too much, way more than I can handle. I have enough problem not becoming insane from coughing, sneezing, coughing, sneezing etc. etc. etc...

Another problem with getting sick is the loneliness. Perhaps that's the worst part. I really need to have people around me pretty much all the time, so it's awful to just stay in bed for days and days and says without company. Not even a friend taking care of me. It sucks, and it makes me send mail to everyone I know, and I get upset if they don't answer quick enough, they get annoyed at me for that and I'll feel even lonelier. The only good part is that this is the only time that I actually take to time to write all those letters I normally just can't get myself to do. But is it worth it? Is all the pain worth that? I don't think so...