When I first started writing this entry, it was supposed to be about something completely different than this, but anyway...

The feeling that everyone's abanoning me has grown more and more lately. Here I am, left alone in the middle of the night, as usual. Each one of those few friends I really, really care about seem to be occupied with something else all the time, and I'm left behind. I'm left behind to take care of myself. I never knew how to do it, even though sometimes it feels like I'm always the one left behind.

Romance has been has been flowing everyone for some time now, just not in my life. I've seen many friends find someone to love and care about. And I'm happy for them, very happy. The problem is that many of them just don't seem to know what they have right now. They just take everything for granted. I'm just upset by them not making every moment count, not doing the best out of it, instead just letting everything pass. But who am I to say something, who am I to complain? I, if anyone, waste my time doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself.

I just want someone to desperately care about me for once, someone who calls me as soon as I'm not there, someone who needs me, someone who can't live without me. I've always been the one who's had to fight for my relationships, why can't it be the other way around just for once?
I'm a romantic, or, I would be if I could. If I had someone to love more than anything else, who felt the same for me. One of those seemingly perfect relationships, that I can only dream about for the moment.

No romance, no sexiness
but a star-filled night.

And I haven't even been kissed for I don't know how long. I don't need a relationship right now. I just need to be close to someone. Right now I just wanna get laid. By a skinny, cute indie-rock boy. I, if anyone, deserve that now.