I went over to Svante again this evening to watch some more of the 20 movies we "accidentally" bought yesterday. When I came over, Ludvig was there. He used to be one of my best friends, but we haven't talked with each other in over two years. We just stopped talking to each other. It felt great tonight, it felt just as it used to do, back when we were the closest of friends, we three. Me, Svante and Ludvig. I still remember those summer nights we spent together. All those wonderful memories of the past. Tonight was us, all over again.
The best part, however, when me and Ludvig walked home from Svante. The bus never came, so we had to walk tome. We live pretty close to each other. And to just talk for an hour, with someone you haven't said a word to for so long... It just felt so natural, just like we never stopped... We were the same as always, the same as we used to be. The same as we've ever been. I've never really missed him, but now I'm so happy that we met tonight. I've gotten another old friend back, someone who meant a lot to me once.

I've been rediscovering old friends a lot lately. First was mindsay, and particularly Sonya. You really meant a lot to me, you've helped me so much. It feels so good that we're talking again. I'm so glad that I've found at least a few of my lost friends again. Considering how much I fucked up earlier though, I guess I should be glad that I have what I have. Realizing this, I guess that maybe it's time to forgive a certain person that once meant everything for me. Someone that I miss so much... Maybe she is worth it. Maybe a friend like her is worth more than those tears that have made it's way down my face, tears summoned by the pain she once caused me. I don't know, I really need to reconsider how I feel now.

What a society we live in... Everyone of us have social problems, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, or just feel so lonely that the world feels deserted. And the tragical thing is that no one is alone with these problems. No one is uniqe, the problems just go around and around, and everyone fight for themselves. It all feels kind of meaningless to me.
So take care of the realtions you have! Don't just let them slide way as easily as I have. Call those who never call because you never call because etc.etc... So much energy is spent trying to find new friends to replace the old ones all the time, so try to keep on the the ones you have, they mean a lot. If they've let you down, try to give them a second chance. Most of the time it's worth it. As I've said before: You never know what you have until it's gone. Sometimes, that's just too true... I'm so lucky to get just some of it back.

And Sonya: I'm really really glad that I'm back again. I've missed you.