I really tried this time. I wanted to solve our problems, I wanted to make it right again. I really wanted to leave what has been in the past. It's the dawn of a new day, and I wished that I would bring a new life to me, a life of hope and joy. The life I want to live, but for some reason seem to never be able to live. Maybe it's just not meant for me, maybe it's just meant for my dreams.

You wanted me to do this. You cried, you desperately tried, you asked me to forgive you once and for all. Do you know how hard it was for me to try to keep you away? I missed you so terribly much, but I just couldn't forgive you. Not this time. I just couldn't. So I decided to drown my feelings inside me, trying to lock them in, but it was too much. My heart exploded, it shattered into tiny shreds of memories of us, burning, tearing, ripping it's way through my skin, bringing me down to my bare, bleeding knees. I don't know which one of us was the saddest. You for knowing you did this to me, or I for knowing I did this this to you.

I miss you so much. I finally decided that it was time to leave all that shit in the past. I forgave you for everything, I opened myself up for you to see. You said that you had missed me so much, and was so happy that I was back in your life. But you said that now was not the time. Now was not the time to be friends again.

Why? Why do you always have to decide? If it doesn't suit you, you just throw it away to rot. It's like the whole world is your own little playground to do what you want with. I'm getting so tired of this. From now on, it's according to my rules, or nothing. Listen to me now, or leave my life forever. I can't care about you any more, for once I have to put myself first. I want to be happy again, with or without you. So please, do as I wish just this time. Just this time, and everything can be back to what it once was. Everything can be alright again... Us. You and I, together.